"Wow, this might be hard to drive with such a huge, throbbing erection."

"Pam, wait up, c’mon get me drunk enough and I might have sex with you."

*squeals in anticipation*

*squeals in anticipation*

Don’t we all?


"The secret ingredient…is phone!"

"The secret ingredient…is phone!"

"It’s a catch-22, the amount of alcohol I would need would literally kill me."


"All I’ve had today is like six gummi bears and some scotch."

"All I’ve had today is like six gummi bears and some scotch."